Thursday, December 02, 2004

Full Disclosure

First, the kidlets are almost four. There is no way on God's green earth (or whatever colour it becomes as the Bush presidency continues) that I had time to post missives on the internet when they were babies.

Speaking of which, I barely left the nursery--let alone the house--until the babies were almost nine months old. Long story, maybe I'll regale you with the details some day. But when I think back on that time, and my incapacitating fears, I suffer physical pain. I wish very much that I could go back in time and (a) offer myself a big hug and (b) tell myself to get over it already, and get the heck out of the house. What's the worse that happens? I'm nursing one baby astride the passenger seat of the minivan while the other two wail in their carseats? I have to abandon the almost-full grocery store and return home immediately because I didn't pack enough diapers? Turns out, neither scenario is as bad as it might appear.

Meanwhile, a tip for anyone trying to grocery shop with multiple infants or toddlers: push the stroller, pull the cart--and this is key here, pull the cart so it rolls forward. Grasp the front of the basket on the cart, not the handle. Do not attempt to pull the cart backwards--bad idea. But you can push a double stroller or a triplet stroller while pulling the cart (your right hand can do double-duty, wrap a few fingers around the stroller and a few fingers around the cart), and you'll never need assistance in the grocery store again. At least not until you want to discuss why, exactly, the cheap toys are displayed precisely opposite the breakfast cereal, and what became of the lovely, now-obsolete idea to provide candy- and junk-free check-out aisles.


Mel said...

Thanks for the tips...I could sure use them!

Anonymous said...

Oh YES! Push the stroller, pull the cart, AND tell the well-meaning throngs that no, you don't need anyone's help, thank you. I know they mean well, but dang, I'm doing fine, please just leave me alone. I won't be a burden on society if you don't make me one!

I tried to have a store clerk help me once at the grocery store, but that was a disaster. He was a nice-enough young man, maybe aged 18-23, but was certainly clueless as to the reality of shopping with young triplets. First of all, getting out of the house was a treat for me, and going to the grocery store was a super treat (because DH hadn't wanted me to go to the store for so long, like, over 2 years). I did not want to go whizzing down the aisles at warp speed, I wanted to savor my time. I wanted to look at the food labels and dream about the meals I might cook, the things I might eat. I wanted to relax and be out of the house. I wanted to see old friends on the shelves, things I'd forgotten about, things I hadn't eaten in years. I didn't want to get things over with. It was so annoying to have to mentally keep track of yet another "kid" as he whizzed out of sight at the end of the aisle with my cart. Wheeeeeeee!!!!!!! Hey, moron, I have something in my hand now, could you please come back here and let me put my food in my cart? How do you expect me to push the stroller if I have food in my hands?

It only took three aisles of this nonsense for me to assert myself, dismiss the boy, and reclaim my cart and my freedom. My independence.

Ai yi yi. Another chapter in the when help is no help book...

Funny, isn't it, how you simply don't need to pack a huge bag with diapers with all those changes of clothing? I mean, really, if your kid is so unwell that a change of clothing is required, are you really going to stay out shopping? Aren't you really just going to go back home ASAP?


Anonymous said...

Is that it? I want to read more! I just read your entire archives, after being told by library-lil that yours is one of her favorite new reads. And I can certainly see why. Don't stop! Even those of us with no babies, no babies on the horizon, and no known infertility problems can adore your blog. -Craige